Children are the most beautiful and graceful trust (deposit) that Allah gives to each parent. Therefore, it’s a duty of each parent to pay attention to the needs and development of their children, so that they grow up healthy, both physically and spiritually.
To a Parent, a child is the only true source of happiness for cases where the child is kind and obedient. However, a child can also be the greatest problem to a parent for cases where they are not devoteful or not pious. Its even more worse if they are involved in criminal or juvenile delinquency.
Within the holy Quran, Allah has clearly classified the position of children into four groups, namely:
1. A child as an enemy.
Within surat At-Tagobun verse 14, Allah clearly lays it that;
“O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.”
A child could become an enemy in many ways forexample if its because of them that a parent is forced to do acts that are against the teachings of Islam. Am sure we have ever read in the papers or even heard of situations where a parent is tempted into stealing inorder to meet his children’s financial desires.
2.A child as fitnah(slander) and test from Allah;
Within the same surah At-Taghabun verse 15, Allah brings it to our knowledge that:
“ Your wealth and your children are but a trial, and Allah has with Him a great reward”
One of the worst defamations that can happen to a parent is when their children engage in negative actions. As with drugs, promiscuity, fighting between students, fraud, or other acts which may tend to make it very difficult for the parents or even leave them in a situation of great anxiety
3. A child as a jewelry or adornment.
Allah clearly describes in surah Al-Kahf verse 46, that’s;
“Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life. But the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one's] hope”
By Jewelry or adornment, it holds that a parent may feel very happy and proud of the achievements earned by their children in that the child’s achievements raise the parent’s status and name within the society.
4. A child as coolness within the eyes (qorrota a'yun) or comfort for the heart.
Within Surah al-Furqan verse 74, which means:
“And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous."
The position of the child is best when they are pleasing to the eye and soothing to the parents. Children who, when told to worship, such as in prayer, they immediately execute it with joy. When instructed in learning, they immediately obey.
There are also children with good manners and good virtues. When their words are very polite and also own a courteous behavior, and when they have a high sense of responsibility.
Of all the above four targeted positions of children within islam, certainly all parents would wish that their children belong to the last group, qurrota a'yun. However, it calls for all the necessary seriousness and persistence of parents in fostering them. Parents should be a figure or example for their children Because the child is a reflection of his own parents.
For example,If the parents are diligent in doing the five congregational prayers , then it will be abit easy for the children to also do their prayers in congregation too.
If the parents always speak politely and gently, then inshya Allah it will easy for their children to imitate. And most important of all is that parents should pay attention to the association of their children in the community. Because friends are also very influential to the development of the personality and morals of a child.
May we all be given the strength and ease in building and directing our children to qurrota a'yun , so that they become comfort for heart, and a carrier of happiness both in this world and the hereafter.
Building a
family as a result of nikah {marriage} is not the same as choosing clothes. Some
decide to buy many clothes in order to fulfil their desires; actually some even
rent or borrow clothes from their friends in order to fulfil their desired
dressing code. This is almost the same with people who choose not to marry
because they want to enjoy without needing to have.
